Unexpected

I am very busy. I have one husband, three school aged children living in my house, and two grown daughters and one son-in-law living outside my house. The last thing I need in my life is a dog. Dogs are messy. Dogs are smelly. Dogs pee and poop. They need to be fed, watered, bathed, medicated, etc. I do not need a dog. This was my refrain for at least two years. We already had a fish to fill our pet quota, several of them as a matter of fact. I flatly refused to consider any pet in the rodent family. My children, like all children, still really wanted a dog. Finally Mr. Jakstadt decided it was time to get the kids a dog. I could see that I was clearly out numbered. The time had come for me to surrender and agree to get a dog.

Kristen, an animal lover, proposed a dog/share. Eureka! I love the idea. I would only have to do the dog thing for part of the time. She found a couple of canine prospects that as luck would have it would be at a pet adoption site the very next weekend. She filled out the necessary forms on-line which honestly we barely passed. Small Dog Rescue was a pet adoption organization with serious qualifications for those wanting to adopt a small dog. Nonetheless, we passed.

On Saturday, we all loaded into the SUV merely to go check things out. The voice of reason aka TVOR's position was that the trip was an expedition because after all we had yet to get a fence, a requirement for the small dog rescue people. We happened to see one of the workers walking Roxy in the parking lot and it was love at first sight! She was on the thin side and very subdued to say the least. She had been dropped off with one of her puppies although she was very young, a teen mom. I was immediately drawn to her quiet temperment as well as her adorable face. The kids didn't terrify her which I took as a good sign. She was the one. I instinctively knew that she would not last long and right I was. As I was paying for her, an irrate woman came up and declared that she had wanted Roxy and had only gone home to give her toddler a nap. You snooze, you lose. We brought her home to a fenceless unprepared house. We did manage to drop a wad of cash at Petco for everything one would need for a "mixed breed" dog.

I have never been an animal lover yet I was strangely drawn to Roxy. I found myself in strange positions like on the floor with her! She began to follow me everywhere I went in the house. One time I remember working out on the bike and she was trying to figure out a way to get beside me in between rotations of my foot on the pedal. All she wanted was to be was with me. One of the best things about her was her silence! She rarely barks and is fond of relaxing and sleeping. I didn't have to toss balls for her to chase, play tug of war with her or even walk her. Although I discovered that she loves going on walks which I love as well. We are perfectly suited to each other. Oh the kids like her too, but I have claimed her as my own. She won Eric's heart too and he may have a slight edge because he feeds her beef jerky, but this theory has not been tested. She is no longer on the thin side!

As I was walking her one day, I realized that there was nothing that she could give me or do for me. In fact she is completely dependent on me for food, shelter, humane treatment, flea and tick prevention, etc. She costs me money, time, yet I love providing all this for her. I realized that it was a picture of God's love for me. I am nothing but trouble for Him. I sin every single day and I'm slow to learn His truths and apply them to my life. I can give him nothing. He is God after all and needs nothing yet what He wants is for me to want to be with him. He wants me to spend time with Him,talk to Him, love what He loves, know Him.

His kindness disarmed me and reminded me that He loves giving good gifts just because. He is the perfect Father. No one knows us or loves us like our Heavenly Father. Thanks seems terribly inadequate for everything He has given me, but thank Him I will as often as I can.

Mirror, Mirror

I recently celebrated my birthday. I do realize this is a good thing to celebrate, the gift of another year of life, etc. I love talking to both of my parents on that day as they give me tidbits of information about the day of my birth like I was the biggest baby in the nursery that day, 9 lbs! Is that a good thing? If I had to survive on my own in the wild I suppose I would last a little longer than the average baby. What is decidedly not a good thing is the whole aging process that usually comes along with the birthdays. Getting older is oh so exciting and fun until when one day it isn't really. Looking at my reflection in the mirror has become especially unpleasant. It is strange to imagine yourself looking younger than you actually look. The question is what to do.

I began to realize that people on television that I know I watched when I was in elementary school look younger than me! What is their secret? good diet and excercise? Super genetics? True, some don't actually look human, but some look really good. Being a woman of action, I decided to go straight to the source and find out. It just so happens that my daughter Kristen starting working in a plastic surgeon's office. She began to educate me on all the latest treatments,of which there are many, to restore one's youthful appearance. This sounded encouraging so off I went for my free consultation. Of course I was secretly hoping that the doctor would tell me it is far too soon to even think about doing anything. I absolutely would not benefit from anything they had to offer. This was not the case, not by a long shot. He took one look at my face and told me about some very natural injectables that would help temporarily and then followed with what I really needed was a cheek lift! He told me in detail what happens to one's face over time and it's not pretty. I began to feel like Eve in the Garden of Eden when she was being tempted by the serpent. What harm could one or two syringes of very natural gel injected into your face do? They also showed me beautiful photos of women who had had the cheek lift. What's wrong with wanting to be restored to a more youthful appearance? Thankfully I'm a big chicken and said I wanted to think about it. Notwithstanding the rare occasional blindness (yikes!) from the substance going into the wrong place that I found on google, I had to examine the spiritual ramifications of how far one goes to look good on the outside. I had to face the fact that I'm terribly vain and do not like aging, especially when many women around me are not aging along with me.

As a Christian woman, we are told that beauty comes from within, a gentle and quiet spirit to be exact, wow. Unfortunately, I have been unable to find an injectable for these qualities. I realized that aging gracefully means accepting the process of aging and doing this without complaining. Easier said than done I say. Lord willing, I will have the chance to try.

The Driving Range

I've determined that the game of golf is the great equalizer. You need only to spend an hour at the driving range to find humans of any age, socio-economic status,gender,or size, attempting to loft a tiny golf ball into the air. This looks much easier on TV mind you. It is a very difficult and unnatural movement. Somehow one bends at the waist, while holding the golf club, raise our arms and swing, like a pendulum I'm told, hoping to make contact at just the right spot on the tiny golf ball on the ground. Some people do this well and some do not.

Some of us are there in our own private misery as swing after horrible swing does not achieve the desired result to send the golf ball long and straight. We are all mostly silent. Our extrememly chatty son is even quiet! He already knows this is serious business. I've noticed there's not much smiling either. I am not sure if golf is not supposed to be fun or if one is not supposed to show their enjoyment. One finds all sorts of people at the driving range. There are dads trying to teach their sons who may or may not be interested in learning. There are some very good golfers who do hit amazing shots. They try hard to appear super cool, but I can tell they are quite pleased. There are kids and teens whose spines are made of rubber and can twist completely around with no effort at all. They mostly just swing away, not much stress on their young faces. And there are men who seem to be competing with someone in their mind, probably themselves.
Our son loves the pagentry of golf, cleaning the golf clubs, putting the tees in the ground, getting water from the cooler, tucking his shirt in, wearing cool golf shoes, etc.

I have found several things I love about golf. I'm sure because I have so little of it in my life, I personally love the code of silence. I love the outdoors except when it's allergy season. I love walking the greens. I love the golf clothes. I love the time with Eric. I love the golf cart. I love the occasional ping that I hear when I do hit the golf ball. So I'll continue to play this mysterious game. Who knows maybe I'll improve! Then I can look super cool.

Changety Change Change

After a wonderfully relaxing summer and I use that term in the loosest sense, I was all set to begin a new school year. I was looking forward to a few changes in our family. I would have a new middle schooler which would mean my younger three would no longer be in the same school or on the same schedule. I must say round two of Middle School Open House was not nearly as stress inducing as round one with our two older girls. I really wanted to reassure the worried parents who surrounded me that they too would survive. They truly looked more worried than the students I have seen and ours said just driving by the school made her feel a little sick! Regardless, this was the biggest change I could foresee for the fall.

The first change that came my way was a part-time job for me! A position had come available in the spring that didn't materialize which I took rather well. I left it in God's hands and decided that it wasn't the right time. I then got a call shortly before school started for a part-time contract position at the same place! The job description/hours couldn't be more perfect and my boss and supervisor are wonderful. I'm hoping that it will continue but whatever time they can employ me is fine. God always has the perfect plan. The look of astonishment on the kids' faces when I told them was priceless. My son told Eric, "Did you know Mom got a job?" I'm not sure if he thought he was getting me in trouble or what. Eric took it like the wonderful husband that he is, even though his life is a bit stressful right now to say the least. He is happy for me and supportive. That leads me to change number two..

Eric's mom fell. Throughout my life, I had heard various people use this term in serious tones and it quite frankly puzzled me. My first thought was, that's unfortunate, but they get up right and go on their merry way. Thankfully I did not pursue nursing or the health care and healing industry in any capacity, right! What I have since learned is that falling for an older person is not the same as falling for a younger person at all. This set in motion unbelievable health and drug complications,panic phone calls,doctor visits,tests scheduled and taken,food prepared,and general care of her and my father-in-law. We are currently on week 4 of the crisis, but I'm sure that this is the first wave of more to come as both of our parents age. How to navigate this new change is uncharted for both of us. Of course, this crisis came at precisely the time when school was starting, I was starting a new job and all of Eric's projects at work were simultaneously screaming for his attention.

Coincidental? I think not. What we have here is a pop quiz. Am I prepared to make meatloaf at 8:00 A.M. with a good attitude? Am I prepared to hold down the fort while Eric is working weekends to make up for the missed work time? Only God knows if I will pass or fail, especially for the long haul. I am reminded that everything we do for them, we do not only for them but for God. Our parents cared for us when we were totally dependent on them and were not very interesting company as infants or even toddlers. They raised us in homes where we learned to love God, which is the very best gift they could give us! It warms my heart to see the goodness of my husband as he cares for his parents. I realized that the time spent with them and for them is more important than my to do list,really. Ultimately people,especially hurting people are very important to God. I can trust that God knows all the work deadlines and projects and everything else happening at our house. He will take care of them in a way that only the God of the Universe can do. What a relief!

The Wonder Years

Last weekend we celebrated four incredible years since adding three incredible children to our family. While our lives have completely changed in almost every capacity, it has happened so gradually that it seems like they have always been with us. The anniversary date allowed me the opportunity to reflect on just how miraculous our journey has been.

The desire to adopt had been in my heart for awhile, and I foolishly thought this was something our family could do for God. After all, I'm an elementary school teacher and we'd already raised two children. How much harder could raising three children be? My arrogance astounds me! What in the world could I do for the creator of the universe! It didn't take very long for me to realize that this was going to be way harder than I anticipated. Turns out I could do absolutely nothing! But God,(my favorite phrase in the Bible)reached down in loving kindness and grace could do immeasureably more than I could even ask or imagine and believe me I was asking. He provided everything that we needed to do what He called us to do. I had a front row seat to watch the heart that God has for children and that there is nothing that is too difficult for Him.

He provided our church that was a much needed sanctuary every Sunday and Wednesday for all of us to draw strength and encouragement from. The Children's ministry lovingly ministered to our children and taught them by words and example of the love of Jesus. We rejoiced when two of our children both professed belief in Jesus Christ and were baptized. I saw how God hand picked each and every teacher whether it was Wee school,Sunday School or Elementary School to meet specific needs every school year. He surrounded us with people who volunteered to help with childcare, tutoring, and even music lessons. He provided our two grown daughters who opened their hearts as well as their hands to welcome their new brother and sisters to our family. His almighty presence and His powerful Word reassured us and continues to guide us through our journey. He provided Himself.

I have gotten to know our three children really well over these past four years and they me. Together we embarked on a journey to become a family. The vulnerability, courage and acceptance they each displayed to begin a brand new life with us is humbling. To be sure, much like the natural birth of our two older daughters, we experienced labor pains. Likewise though, the pain has become a distant memory with every contented smile that I see on their faces. I simply cannot believe how much they have grown and matured over these past 4 years. While on the golf course with our son and Eric recently, I recalled a previous time on the golf course several years earlier when it was just the two of us, before we even knew our son. I was painting a wonderful picture for Eric about how our lives would be so much richer because we would not just be playing golf ourselves but teaching our son to play and here he was in the flesh, our adorable son completely in love with the game of golf. The picture would be really beautiful if our golf game was better, but still.

I thank God for the privilege of raising our second batch of kids. I get to see the world through the uncensored eyes of a child on a daily basis. Just today, our youngest was retelling with perfection the story of Ikea who climbed up the sycamore tree to see Jesus!I know that He has a wonderful plan for each one of our children and He has allowed me to be intimately involved. In between homework, soccer practice and laundry God is kind to give me glimpses of how He is already working in their lives. I regularly hear them singing praise songs to Jesus as they are riding bikes or doing puzzles. I know that the road will not always a rosy one, and one day they will not be as excited to hang out with us, but I also know that God has proven Himself to be faithful and that He will be with us.

Coupons and Cherry Cheesecake Pie

The 4th of July always reminds me of a particular 4th of July 23 years ago. We were at a 4th of July gathering, standing out in the culdesac, playing with sparklers. I remember being very pregnant, relatively miserable, but mostly anxious to meet my second born child. It had been a difficult pregnancy so we were thankful to have gotten to this point. Eric and I were hovering,the way that first time parents do, over our then 2 1/2 year old Laura as she played with her sparkler. What would it be like having two children instead of one? What would our second daughter be like? Would I love her like I love Laura? Do I really have to go through labor and delivery again?

I didn't know that I was standing at the threshhold of being the mother of not one but two amazing daughters. Who knew that these tiny very needy people would grow up to be women who I really like as well as love,truly admire and love spending time with. I was reminded just how much this past weekend when we were together over the 4th of July weekend.

I was desperately in need of some Laura time since she lives in another city now and I don't get to see her very often. The two of us hit the ground running as soon as we both arrived Friday afternoon at the lake house doing some power shopping at the outlet mall. She came armed with extra percent discount coupons for the holiday weekend and off we went. Later that night she was brimming with working girl tales and specifically her review. She is determined to make things happen at her place of employment and I wouldn't bet against her! She is also a kid at heart so she loves having her younger siblings to relive her childhood. The next day she played the game of Life with Lucas and Summer and she made Kristen's birthday Cherry Cheesecake pie with Summer. Laura brings lots of fun to our family and we love her for it! She and Jason also cooked a delicious Southwest Chicken meal for us with enthusiasm and love. I love how she and Jason work together to make my life easier! Laura and I share a love, some would say a ridiculous obsession, of walking/running whenever we are together so we enjoyed two power walks on this visit to the lake. Anyone can join us of course if they are willing to walk fast. We had two takers, Lucas one day and Eric another and of course the usual terrifying lake dogs that chase us!

We were all eagerly anticipating Kristen's arrival because she would be bringing her new fiance, Ben to spend the weekend with us. We can always count on her to keep our lives interesting. She typically has seismic changes in her life in any given year and her engagement announcement was one of those shifts.

Kristen arrived exhaused from traveling, but happy in her typically understated way. She would not be joining us on our power walk the following morning. She operates in some other calm realm and does not feel the need to be in constant motion. This baffles me at times, but mostly I marvel at this skill I do not possess. This is why Laura and I were so pleased that she she agreed to join us in running the Peachtree Roadrace this year. It would be her first time. We left the men folk and the little kids behind and drove into Atlanta the night before the race. We had 27 hours of blissful uninterrupted girl talk! The next morning, we traveled many hot sticky miles on Marta,driving and walking the streets of midtown and that was just getting to and from the 6.2 race! Kristen did great! It was worth every minute to experience running the race together but mostly I love spending anytime time with my two grown up girls.

Kristen lives near us so I get to see her more often which I love. She has become my Gigi's cupcake partner as well as our go to babysitter when Eric and I need to get away, really far away like Jamaica! She has always been very maternal and her competence with handling all 3 of her younger siblings is unparalleled. Kristen lives her life by heart and I have to say it softens our family somehow. She brings a gentleness that is disarming, yet also a steadiness that reveals inner determination and strength like the time she wanted a dog when I thought I had absolutely no use for a dog. We ended up getting her and I'm forever in her debt for bringing Roxy, AKA perfect dog into my life. Thanks Kristen!

Well,our girl time came to an end and we returned to the lake house. We spent some time boating, playing games and preparing for Jason's Annual Fireworks Extravaganza that gets bigger every year. We were also anxious to get to know this Ben character who had captured Kristen's heart. I have to say that he dove right in, literally, when one of our life jackets flew out of the boat and he volunteered to dive in to get it. Lucas dubbed him a hero the rest of the weekend. Later,determined to impress his fiance, he spilled some of his own blood when he sustained an injury doing a now classic charade of quick sand. He also performed a lovely guitar solo for our evening entertainment. Mostly though it was nice to see stars in his eyes when he looked at Kristen.

So ends another eventful 4th of July at the Lake house. So glad that 23 years ago Kristen came into my life to join her big sister Laura. They couldn't be more different and I couldn't love each one of them any more.

Spring

Spring has indeed sprung!  The dogwoods and azaleas are blooming their beautiful blooms, the birds are singing their harmonic melodies and I can see wearing sandals in the very near future.  I would love this beautiful time of year if it weren't for the misery that comes on me in the form of seasonal allergies.  My eyes itch to the point of wanting to scratch my eyes out and I can't stop sneezing, sniffing and blowing my red chapped nose, attractive I know.  OTC medications works to some degree, but I find myself praying for rain!  This is not normal  for the sun lover that I am.

There's also the planting pressure that comes every spring in the form of Home Depot and Lowe's, Miracle Grow commercials to inspire me to plant flowers in my yard.  I've noticed that everyone in the commercials are so happy to be digging, planting and spreading whatever it is they spread  and not one of them is red eyed and sneezing their head off.  I must confess that my allergies are not solely to blame.  I have sincerely tried to get into the spirit of planting, but  have not found one enjoyable moment in the entire process.  Is there something wrong with me because I don't enjoy planting? Don't get me wrong.There is no one who appreciates looking at beautiful  flowers, but planting them myself is altogether another story.  Lugging huge bags of potting soil, weeding flower beds, digging a hole that is not too shallow or too deep (I never get this right) is not my idea of a good time.  I'm positive that the unfortunate flowers that happen to make their way into my Highlander hatchback can sense my negative attitude.  They must!  They do not thrive to say the least and then they die.  I would much rather admire them while running past them on an early morning run.  So please continue to plant you who love planting.  I'll continue to admire.