My friend asked me the other day how long did I second guess our decision to adopt our three children. I answered that there are days when I still second guess our decision. What I'm second guessing is not my children but rather my suitability to be their mother. It seems to me that he chose the wrong mother for my particular children. Why would he choose me, one so short on mercy, patience and most of the other fruits of the spirit to mother children who need those fruits more than most. Wouldn't it have been better to choose a mother who loves to cuddle and play? A mother who is naturally merciful and compassionate?
I'm not one to question God but sometimes I question God. I can relate to Moses when he called him to address King Pharoah. " Who will I say sent me? In other words, This is too big for me! I'm not equipped. " That's because it was too big for Moses. As I recall Charlton Heston ended up with a bushy white beard on the Ten Commandments and it wasn't exactly a smooth road for him even though God was with him. He did give him special powers like a stick that turned into a serpent among other perks like a personal spokesman. I think I could use the serpent/stick some days around here. I've also noticed that God has his own time table and doesn't rush, ever! That's a hard one for me. Now is better than later in my book. Still, Moses got to witness the Red Sea open up to save the Israelites and to show God's incredible glory. He didn't get to actually go into the promised land himself but I'll not dwell on that particular point right now. Did Moses feel equipped to do the job that God called him to do? He did not. Did God provide everything Moses needed to rescue his people? He most certainly did! Can God make me into the kind of mother that my children need? I think so.
The sunset catamaran tour from Jamaica was our favorite memories from our last trip to Jamaica so of course we couldn't wait for another opportunity this year. The afternoons had started getting windy at the resort so we wondered if they might cancel it for wind. They did not. We decided to place our confidence in the captain of the ship and The Lord God of course. Well the Lord God decided to show off his power and remind us how small and helpless we truly are.
My first clue that this would be a very different trip was when stepping onto the boat, they insisted on practically lifting us on board because the boat kept moving away from the dock.
I would be remiss not to mention the colorful characters traveling with us on on the S.S. Minnow. One of the newlyweds who I will refer to as smashed girl promptly told us that her new husband was mad at her because she likes this tropical "blank"and he doesn't. I'm not hopeful for that marriage. Boarded on a boat in Jamaica is not the time to find this information out. There was another young couple, tacky thong bathing suit girl and "don't give up on your dream tattoo boy who took photos of his thonged bride for the entire ride. Lovey and Thurston Howell III would not have been impressed. Thankfully there was a sweet southern couple from North Carolina , also newlyweds but neither smashed, tattooed nor thonged. They seemed genuinely happy to be married to each other and they renewed my hope for the future of our country.
The rest were mostly middle aged and happy to be escaping the bitter cold of the Northern states. Either that or the rum punch was kicking in.
The captain changed the route to mostly hugging the coast because of the wind. I think this was a wise decision. A dolphin joined our fun and put on a delightful show for us, jumping in and out of the ocean. We stopped to swim but I found the waves too powerful so didn't stay out long. I was proud I went in at all as swimming in the ocean scares me!
The crew turned up the music and did a fun imitation of dancing like Michael Jackson to Billy Jean. It was time to sail back, normally timed for the sun to go down. The sail went up, the sun went down and the waves started getting huge, Master and Commander huge.
I decided to "roll" with it and enjoy the ride. What choice did I have? I felt like I was at Six Flags riding one of those rides with warnings for Pregnant women and people who have heart conditions, only I was not buckled in. We were going against the wind so were making slow progress back to the resort. The sunset was barely mentioned as we were all afraid to let go of the railing to take photos. I truly feared for smashed girl's safety and hoped she was sitting down somewhere after making up with her husband. Thong girl and tattooed boy's photo snapping also slowed during our bumpy return. Several crew members stationed themselves at the bow to assist passengers who wanted to move or to alert the captain in case someone went overboard. The crew had amazing sea legs and were solid as wooden soldiers. We were very impressed with them.
A few of the passengers were not feeling well but most everyone else seemed to do ok. I felt fine and Mr. Jakstadt, loving all things marine, was have a swell time riding the waves.
I kept my eyes on the captain who didn't seem particularly panicked but I'm sure that's part of his training. It's a good policy as what can he really do at the mercy of giant waves but sail on. Moms and teachers must practice this on a regular basis in order to survive a classroom of children or even one or two of them during stressful times. He performed well, serious but not overly so.
We made it safely back, way after dark and again were lifted back onto the dock. The crew was very cool and didn't act at all like they had barely made it back to shore. All I can say is, Mr. Jakstadt really knows how to show me a good time. It was a fine show all around and not a bad way to spend an evening.