My friend asked me the other day how long did I second guess our decision to adopt our three children. I answered that there are days when I still second guess our decision. What I'm second guessing is not my children but rather my suitability to be their mother. It seems to me that he chose the wrong mother for my particular children. Why would he choose me, one so short on mercy, patience and most of the other fruits of the spirit to mother children who need those fruits more than most. Wouldn't it have been better to choose a mother who loves to cuddle and play? A mother who is naturally merciful and compassionate?
I'm not one to question God but sometimes I question God. I can relate to Moses when he called him to address King Pharoah. " Who will I say sent me? In other words, This is too big for me! I'm not equipped. " That's because it was too big for Moses. As I recall Charlton Heston ended up with a bushy white beard on the Ten Commandments and it wasn't exactly a smooth road for him even though God was with him. He did give him special powers like a stick that turned into a serpent among other perks like a personal spokesman. I think I could use the serpent/stick some days around here. I've also noticed that God has his own time table and doesn't rush, ever! That's a hard one for me. Now is better than later in my book. Still, Moses got to witness the Red Sea open up to save the Israelites and to show God's incredible glory. He didn't get to actually go into the promised land himself but I'll not dwell on that particular point right now. Did Moses feel equipped to do the job that God called him to do? He did not. Did God provide everything Moses needed to rescue his people? He most certainly did! Can God make me into the kind of mother that my children need? I think so.