A Perfect Day

My daughter Kristen became a married woman on Saturday. Escorted by her father to Here Comes the Sun exactly at the moment the sun peeked from behind the clouds has to be my favorite moment of the day. Or it could be when her daddy serenaded her on his violin. Or it could be when my daddy admonished Kristen and Ben from God's word so beautifully. I definitely got off easy, only making myself presentable as the mother of the Bride and greeting people which honestly I love to do.

How many prayers have I prayed for this child, for her marriage, for this day? Prayers to pass an Algebra test and prayers for safety as she jumped her horse come to mind immediately. God's faithfulness surely brought her to this day!  The day your daughter marries is a turning point, when her focus turns to her husband and her life with him instead of life with us. Aside from her decision to become a Christian, it is the most important decision she will make.

Kristen's wedding took me back to my own wedding 29 years ago now when I married up and married Mr. Jakstadt. Turns out, it's who you marry that makes a happy marriage and somewhere in my youth or childhood I must have done something good as Maria sang in the Sound of Music. Marrying Mr. Jakstadt was one of the best decisions of my life!. Of course I had no way of knowing this at the tender age of 22, but God knew exactly who He wanted me to marry and He told me so. Thank goodness I listened!

As Kristen and Ben drove away and the balloons floated into the sky, she looked the same but she was Mrs. Benjamin Small. I pray that life for her and her new husband will be as beautiful as her wedding day.

A walk in the rain

This week has been busier than most and that is saying a lot! This week we are hosting a missionary at our house which means I feel the need to create a clean, peaceful, holy environment- ridiculous I know. It's funny what one thinks one must do or not do in the presence of a missionary. I do consider it an honor to host someone who has heeded God's call to go to a foreign land to spread the name of Jesus. I'm also using it to the hilt with my kids. "Shh, the missionary is still sleeping." in the morning as they get ready for school at 6:20. The only problem is, the missionary has been kept quite busy with meetings, etc.and it was three days before they laid eyes on him!

Yesterday afternoon, the two youngest came in to ask if I would take them for a walk. My answer was perhaps, which is the best answer I have found in response to one of those questions. Perhaps gives some hope even if you really plan for your answer to be no but can't bring yourself to burst their bubble just yet. My son came running in to confirm if  it was true, did I say we could go on a walk? I truly did not have time to spend going on a walk. I had to tidy up for the missionary, which pretty much needs to be done on a constant basis. My youngest came inside and told me to get a jacket, that I would need it for the walk, but that it was by no means raining. Well, that was my out, it's raining! Ruining my hair is reason enough. I have never seen such a devastating look come across her face. I couldn't do it. Walking we would go. I don't think telling them we were going to Disney World would have made them happier. They jumped on their scooters/bicycles and off we went. What started out as a drizzle did become rain and my hair did frizz and curl in an unattractive way. But it turns out going for a walk was a fantastic idea. I loved our walk! They loved our walk! I'm so glad we went on a walk. I would even say it was the most peaceful, and even holy part of my day.  

Real is better

In my constant quest for fitness that gets harder with every passing year, I play mind games with myself that work for the most part. You may have even played some of them yourself. I convince myself that baby carrots are a perfectly delicious snack food and I would much rather have them than say the extra cheesy goldfish that my children are eating. They are roughly the same color and size but that's about it. Funny, my kids always ask me for some baby carrots! They somehow have the idea that whatever I am eating must be better! In this case they would be very mistaken. I've also convinced myself that 100 calorie mini fudge stripped cookies are very satisfying and every bit as good as the regular fudge stripped cookies. Well, I happened on a box of See's candies from my anniversary and decided I should go ahead and eat one since I'd had the box since my anniversary in December. Well, my taste buds went Kapow! as I bit into the rich chocolate truffle. I realized right then and there that real is better. Real is amazing. Real cannot be duplicated. I love real! Now I know why Coke is the Real thing, or it was for a long time.

This got me thinking about other wonderful real things like relationships. There is nothing better than knowing a person for who they really are and being known for who you really are. It says that you both feel safe to be yourself. Likewise, there is nothing worse than a relationship that leaves you constantly wondering who they are and where they stand. I'm currently in one of those relationships with my middle school aged daughter who has entered the relationship abyss. While I realize that she can't give me what she doesn't know herself and that this is normal to some extent for the middle school years, it doesn't make it any easier. Especially for someone in love with real! I am not good at faking, not at all. I don't even like dyed hair, although I reserve the right to change my mind.

I am encouraged that two of my offspring successfully made it to the other side and we enjoy wonderfully close and real relationships today.  I am also encouraged that I have a real relationship with Jesus Christ who is the Master of Real. He not only knows me better than anyone, He longs to have a real relationship with me.


For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb... You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways, Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely O LORD.  Psalm 139 


Now that's what I call knowing someone!

Confidence with a Capital C

The age of seven has to be one of the all time greatest years of one's life. I'm sure there are exceptions, in fact thinking back to my own childhood, mine wasn't so great. The particular seven yr. old that I've been observing is my youngest and she seems to be having a super year! It could be that I'm contrasting her disposition with her sister's who started what is widely known as the worst years of her life, middle school. There is actually a James Patterson best selling book, Middle School, the Worst years of my life! Is that really necessary! This gives me the unique opportunity to enjoy my seven year old that much more. I figure I have four more good years if I'm lucky.

Seven is a year of amazing confidence in oneself, especially in one's appearance. She recently took the scissors to her hair and cut a large chunk near the crown of her head resulting in a section that sticks up unless it's wet down. No matter, she wets it down as best she can in the morning, puts on her head band and actually gets a lift like that "As seen on TV hair volumizing product, "Bump It". She goes from drab to fabulous! It's all in the attitude,isn't it. Not one minute of regret have I seen. I wouldn't be surprised if she made it a new trend in her class.

She chooses her outfits based on how they make her feel, not on whether they make her look fat. She adores wearing dresses and floats around the house in them frequently. She absolutely does not compare herself with perfectly toned models in Athletica magazine. Those magazines are of the devil. Who looks like that in spandex!

Her independent reading has really taken off this year and she reads with the very same confidence, almost a little too much actually. She reads just like my phone auto correct and fills in any words with the first thing that pops into her mind. We were on our way in to purchase a wedding gift and on the way in read, "Bed, Bath and Behind"! or her Key passage in Bible Buddies for the week,  Ruth 4, The Kinsman Reminder!

She has the answer to all of my problems like  my having to go to the salon to get a manicure. She informed me that I don't have to go anymore. All I need is Salon Express, a nail art stamping kit she saw on TV one day! She is an expert on how to do most things. In her opinion, she is really good at tennis, swimming, or any other activity she participates in. Her enthusiasm alone takes her a long way!

Yes, I will enjoy my youngest today and can learn a thing of two from her.

Consider the Librarian

I confess that I have had a long time love/hate relationship with librarians. What kind of hate monger could hate a librarian you may ask? Hate is too strong a word really. We have spent too many years just rubbing each other the wrong way. I realize now that the traits that I have previously loathed in librarians, I really envy.Traits like never being in a rush and careful attention to detail are traits that I would love to possess. In all my years of checking out books, they have never once made a mistake! Of course I wouldn't know if they had. After all, they are merely doing their job when they report the fines that I must pay almost every time I visit. I am actually doing the community a great service with my fine paying by keeping the library in the black. You are welcome! Librarians by nature exude serenity and calmness, something I'm afraid I struggle to maintain. Have you ever seen a frazzled or hyper librarian? Nope, doesn't exist. The pace of the librarian is indeed a great reminder for me to slow down my usual frenzied pace. Maybe one day I will even tell them how much I admire and appreciate them, if I can find the time!

Happy Me

On the eve of the day when my three youngest children return to school after Christmas break, I am a happy mom. Reflecting on the past 18 days of intense closeness, I am happy to say that I found them to be on the whole enjoyable. Last week in particular after the whirlwind of family gatherings, it was nice to settle into a more relaxed vacation mode. It takes a couple of days of transition when they are flying high from candy over-load at class parties and the anticipation of Santa’s arrival. I normally run a pretty tight ship so it’s fun to surprise them with special treats like, a sleep-over, a play date, a movie night, and ice cream before we buckle back down tomorrow for early morning reader’s club, math facts and homework. I loved hearing the conversations in the back seat, “Dude,” before every comment from my son’s friend. He must be the cool kid, because he actually came over wearing a herringbone fedora!  And, “You control it, don’t let it control you!” my daughter said to my son referring to his foot that somehow developed a mind of its own.  I enjoyed watching my son build interesting items of questionable usefulness with his carpenter’s kit like a name plate for our dog’s food dish. Although a very intelligent dog, as far as I know she can’t read nor can any visiting dogs. I enjoyed turning my middle-school aged daughter onto The Hunger Games even though the subject matter is about a lottery which calls for a fight to the death. She devoured it and I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it.

I admit sometimes it blows my mind that I am still pouring Apple Jacks into bowls at this stage of my life. At least they are whole- grain this time around! And everything does not bring a smile to my face like when my youngest daughter cut a huge chunk of hair from the side of her head creating an odd side mullet, perfect for beautiful Christmas pictures. Or when my almost 9 yr. old son opted to urinate in the bush in our front yard instead of using a toilet just inside the house!  But the precious moment when my daughter came to put her head down on my lap yesterday during the Mario Bros Bible Buddies Kick-off and when I saw them happily playing their very loose version of the game of Life somehow softens those other ones. These moments are always unexpected and fleeting but they are heavenly and they are powerful reminders of why I’m here.

The Christmas Santa died

“Daddy, tell me the truth, is Santa for real?” That was the question that our youngest posed Christmas Eve. She was the first of our 5 children that actually asked directly for the truth. Up to this point, I had done my best with the elf on the shelf routine, but was honestly running out of new places to put him every single day! Ernie as we had named him had become lazy and not moved at all a couple of times! We had taken them to see Santa every year for the adorable picture although we focused more on the birth of Jesus as the reason for the season. But kids at school start to talk in second and third grade saying that it’s really your parents.  What’s a kid to believe? We decided that we needed to come clean on Christmas morning. But how? When? While eating breakfast after opening gifts, Eric asked if she remembered asking him a question last night. She now had no recollection; maybe just receiving gifts from Santa had something to do with it. No matter, Eric plowed ahead giving the history of St. Nicholas combined with the spirit of giving and fun ending with the horrible truth that Santa is indeed not real. Regret was written all over her face for asking and our son I could tell was devastated. I knew that he was the hold out true believer when he was agonizing over and whittling down his list before his visit to Santa. Later that day, he finally broke down in tears saying that he was mad at his sister for ruining Christmas by asking that question. She compassionately told him to “get over it!” At least he wasn’t blaming us for lying to them all these years! Really though, I was happy to see the two of them looking to us for the real story instead of believing what they heard at school. I pray that they will remember that truth is good. Sometimes the truth hurts, but they can count on us to tell them the truth.

Happy Children before the knowledge of Santa was made known to them