Ode to Handy Man Painter

Having a bit of spring fever, I decided to paint my kitchen.  It's been a cheery shade of yellow which I have loved, but it's been 8 years now on the walls and time for a change.  I do not love to paint, nor do I have the gift of painting.  I confirmed this when I brought home tiny sample bottles of paint to try on the wall and proceeded to drip it on the counter, on the wood floor, and get it on the cuff of my favorite jacket sleeve.  I'm pretty sure what I detest about painting is the prep work of which I did none.  Now I have two paint splotches on the wall, neither of which is the right color, but now I'm committed.  Note to self, the cardboard paint samples work just fine taped to the wall.  Do not get sucked into the cuteness of the sample bottles.

My hard working husband was going out of town on business, perfect time to paint, right!  I decided to hire a painter/handy Man that my in-laws have used for various odd jobs.  He was extremely flexible and the price was right, two ominous signs that I chose to ignore.  Nevertheless, I wanted/needed the kitchen painted and I had two days to get it done.  This need is similar to the intense need that comes over me when I need to get my hair cut as soon as possible.  My prep only involved removing a few pictures from the walls as the kitchen is pretty open and purchasing the paint.  I purchased the paint and tape.  He informed me that he does not tape.  I found out that not only does he not tape, he does not prep at all! I asked him if he would do me the favor of taping and he proceeded to only tape selected baseboards and then began to paint.  I decided to practice patience and wait to see what the end result would be.  Maybe he would wow me with the fabulously perfect paint job? Alas, this was not the case. His painting was surpassed only by his professionalism. Before he left for the day, he asked for some gas money,half payment and if he could make himself a sandwich.  I spent the evening marking with tape all the places he had flung paint.  There was paint on the light switches,  paint splattered on the floor, paint dripping on the baseboards that he did not tape!  I decided to compile the following list of good things to know if you are painting for me.

If you are confident in your painting to state that you do not tape, then please don't drip paint! Prepping is important to me.  Please fill the nail holes, remove and replace the light switch covers and clean up.  Do not go outside and then come back in tracking dirt and leaves all over the house.  Do not leave the water hose on the lawn if you use them to rinse off brushes. And last but not least,I implore you to please pull up your pants when bending over!   Valuable lesson learned - you get what you pay for!